Norman is having drinks with Jessica. Jessica’s phone rings and she answers with, “Hello Steve.” After a quick one minute phone call, Norman asks Jessica who Steve is and Jessica’s answer is, “It’s complicated.” The truth is, it’s not complicated at all. Whenever a woman answers a question by telling you, “It’s complicated,” it’s actually very, very simple. Are you ready to decode this girl talk and learn what “It’s complicated” really means?

Whenever a woman tells you, “It’s complicated,” you can be 100% sure that two things are going on. First, that there is another guy somehow involved in her life, and second, if you and this other guy knew the all the details of the two relationships, both of you would be upset. When a woman answers a direct question with, “It’s complicated,” she is saying that if she told you, you would be upset, and she hopes that by saying, “It’s complicated,” that you will not press her for answers. This works because women have conditioned us to not want to listen to their long-winded, illogical, “complicated” answers. Here are three examples of how this scenario works.

Example 1: A guy knocks on your girlfriend’s door while you are over watching a movie. He is returning a measuring cup. You ask your girl who that was and she tells you, “It’s complicated.” If it’s just the guy next door returning a measuring cup he borrowed, how is this at all complicated? He is just returning a measuring cup. Enough said: it’s very simple. “It’s complicated” can only mean one of two things. The first option is that the guy likes her, and she knows it. She isn’t interested in him, but she is smart enough to string him along just in case her toilet ever needs unclogging. The second option is that she likes him, more than she likes you. As soon as she can get her hooks into this guy, you’re done. Again, if it was just the guy next door returning a measuring cup, and that’s all there was to this story, there is nothing complicated about it.

Example 2: You’re on a first date with a girl in college. Some dorky guy comes up to you and says hello to your date. After he leaves, you ask who he was, and she tells you, “It’s complicated.” There is nothing complicated about replying with, “He is just some guy in one of my classes.” What is really going on, if it’s complicated, is that she knows he likes her. She is stringing this guy along because she doesn’t want to “hurt him” by being honest and telling him he doesn’t have a chance. She is also keeping him in reserve for favors in class like help with homework. Again, it’s all very simple.

Example 3: You have just ordered an expensive bottle of champagne at a nice restaurant with your date, when some douche-bag with a perfect tan and a plastic smile walks over to your table. He completely ignores you, and your date giggles like an amused 9-year-old as she says hello. After he leaves, you ask who he was. She tells you, “It’s complicated.” Are you starting to catch on here? He is the guy she will be having sex with, after she has drained your wallet only to give you a good night hug followed by telling you how good of a friend you are. A girl will never directly tell you, “I’m not attracted to you. You have zero chance getting me into bed. I am, however, willing to let you think otherwise while you pay for dinner.”

So the next time a woman tells you, “It’s complicated,” just know there is another guy involved and one, if not both, of you are being used like a tool. So what do you do when you can finally see reality for what it is? Do you confront her on it? No. It does you zero good to “talk about it,” and in most cases you will be digging a grave for yourself. Only a beta male cries to a girl about how he is being hurt. If you’re not having sex with this girl, it’s time to start having sex with her right now or stop answering her phone calls. Make your move, and be bold. When she calls asking you to come over and move her couch, tell her you will be over in 5 minutes to lick chocolate sauce off of her naked body. Then get in the car and drive over because you are a man of action, not words. When she sees you at her door 5 minutes later with a bottle of chocolate sauce in hand, well, just trust me on this, the look on her face will be priceless. Make your move!

As a man, you let her know that your relationship has nothing to do with moving couches by simply never moving a couch for her. If you are having sex with her, why should you care if there are other guys? She has other guys in her life, like any other attractive woman, and you have other girls in your life, because you’re not some desperate idiot who enters into exclusive, committed relationships at the drop of a hat. Got it? Good. At some point, if you are doing your job correctly, she will not want to have sex with any other guy but you. After that happens and she decides to keep a few “we are just friends” guys in her life, you’re a happy man because they can do her favors while she is doing you.

If you want to have some real fun with, “It’s complicated,” during the first few months of dating a new girl, flip the script. The next time a girl asks you a question, answer with, “It’s complicated,” followed by changing the subject. The more she likes you, the more of a reaction you will get. The best part is that she will tell you she is angry because you aren’t being open and honest with her, and that it’s probably very simple. You see, she knows the game all too well.

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