I’ve never been one for bling. I laugh at people who superglue 80 cent, shiny pieces of plastic to their car thinking that it makes them cooler somehow. I never wear jewelry. I’d rather get my value from displaying my personality than showing off a bunch of expensive unnecessary trinkets. I don’t even wear a watch. I can see what time it is on my iPhone. I’m a minimalist; however, for the things in life that are necessary to have, I customize whenever possible.
When it comes to shoes, it shocks me that people think they’re somehow cooler when they’re wearing “Michael Jordan” shoes. As if having someone else’s name on your shoes makes you cooler. Wouldn’t it be cooler if your shoes had your own name on them? If I’m going to wear a pair of shoes, I want to wear my own cool shoes. I want to wear “Drawk Kwast” shoes because I’m Drawk Kwast. So here’s how I do exactly that…
I go to NikeID.com and order a custom build. Sure it takes about a month to get them delivered, but you decide on every last detail and color. What you get is a custom shoe you won’t see anywhere else but your feet. No more buying a pair of shoes only to walk outside the shoe store and realize everybody else is wearing the exact same style with the exact same colors. Also, when you order custom, you get the exact size you need. I have a wide foot, so the perfect fit for me isn’t even in stock if I walk into a Footlocker. When I order custom, they show up and fit perfectly.
As you can see in the above picture, one of the things I have them do is replace the word “Nike” with my name. I started doing this after realizing something: When you buy a pair of shoes that say Nike or Reebok or Adidas on them, you’re basically walking around like a big advertisement for the shoe company; only, they’re not compensating you for all of the advertising you’re doing for them. My solution was to stop advertising for them.
And why stop with shoes? As far as t-shirts go, it’s the same thing. I see everyone walking around displaying a billboard on their chest as an advertisement for some clothing company. What do I do? I do the same thing I do with my shoes. I wear the Drawk Kwast line of apparel. You can do the exact same thing I do by custom ordering prints of your own clothing from websites like cafepress.com or theprintful.com. If you’re not the creative type, you can go to 99designs.com and pay someone to come up with a little logo to match your name and just use that for all your custom ordered shirts. Or if you’re a little bit more creative… the next time you’re so strung-out on brain candy that you think the ghost of Albert Einstein is communicating to you through a Shpongle video, write down what he tells you. It may make for a great t-shirt when you sober up. Why wear somebody else’s stupid sayings when you can come up with your own?
And while you’re at it, why stop with clothing only you wear? Have some women’s underwear made with your name on it and you now have your own line of women’s underwear. Victoria’s Secret? Fuck that! The last chick I spent the night with left my apartment the next morning wearing a Drawk Kwast thong. After all, I felt obligated to give her some new underwear after I confiscated hers to add to my collection.
A little creativity and you can really have some fun. Let’s say that you have a next-door neighbor who always comes over to bitch about how noisy your parties are. Why not have a stress ball made with your name on it and be ready to hand it to her the next time she comes over? A present. How thoughtful of you.
In a world where everyone is secretly bored to tears, it’s time to stop the free advertising for the multibillion-dollar corporations and inject some of your personality out into the world.