It wasn’t until recently that I understood what “owning it” truly means. First, before you can “own it,” you need to know what “it” is. This is a process of shameless self-discovery. Only then, once you know who you are, can you own it. This is a place where stress disintegrates and willpower seems to flow from a never-ending supply.
Shameless self-discovery doesn’t come easy. It requires that you do many things that you’ll inevitably fail at to discover what you’re good at. You beat up your ego, not punishing yourself so much but rather challenging your fear of being weak. You declare to the world, “I do not fear finding out what I’m not good at because I realize that this is the price I must pay to learn what I am good at!” You take it a step further… “I reject everything I’ve been told, to figure it out for myself!” You then realize that your parents, priest, shrink, and heroes never had the courage to gain the first-hand experience you now have. You hit a breaking point where you scream in anger, “Fuck them all!” And then something magical happens: You find peace.
I can’t tell you who you are any more than I could have told Pablo Picasso how to paint. No one can. Understand that it’s impossible for something outside of you to tell you who you are. What I can tell you is that once you know who you are, you must own it. Emotional pain comes from you questioning yourself while placing your faith in someone else. Never believe in someone else more than you believe in yourself. Never offer more respect than you give yourself. When you truly know who you are, what others say or think is irrelevant.
I’m eccentric, and I own it. Call me crazy, and I’ll correct you. Crazy is the homeless man in the park with a shopping cart full of used napkins talking to the pigeons about his relationship with Jesus Christ. Eccentric is the guy who thinks differently from the masses, who provides enough value to the world that they forgive him for not giving a fuck about social “rules.” I own it. And while some may see this as an almost delusional confidence in myself, there is nothing they can say or do to change my thinking. Do you feel different from all of the other children? Own it.
I have many people call me every variation of “stupid” listed in the thesaurus for the philosophy I publish. As it turns out, trying to sell the masses logic, reason, and willpower is about as popular as selling cock-flavored breakfast cereal. Here’s the thing though… My IQ is north of 165. I own that. I also own all the partying I did in my twenties, which I’m sure deflated that number by at least a few points. But hey, that’s how I found out what the inside of a vagina tastes like. So I say it was 5 IQ points well spent. But I digress. My point is that most of the people who call me “stupid” literally have half the intelligence I do, so it doesn’t bother me. Please understand what I’m saying here: When you own one thing, people telling you you’re something else is irrelevant. Do you think differently from all of the other children? Own it.
One of the strangest and most empowering things I’ve learned about society: The vast majority of people are directly dependent on others for their survival. Because of this, they will try to emotionally blackmail you when you speak about their faults and destructive behavior. They want to make you feel bad about what you say so you stop. They can’t let it spread and infect the supply of what they need from society for survival. Successful people, the same thing as independent, aren’t dependent on anyone else and thus don’t give a fuck what anyone else thinks of them. Consider the following: A man who needs a loan from his bank will walk into the branch wearing a suit, something that makes him look like someone worthy of a loan. A man with a million dollars in that bank will walk into the branch wearing a tank-top, shorts, and flip-flops, something that says, “Ha ha! I already won this game and it makes no difference what I wear. Tomorrow I may walk in with shorts so short that an inch of my dong hangs out, just to see if anyone says anything.” That’s owning it.
If a person successfully points out one of your flaws, own it. Here’s what I mean by that. If someone tells you that your breath smells like three-day-old backed-up sewage, ask someone you trust to be honest with you and verify it. Nine times out of ten this will be like me calling an ex-girlfriend “spoon-faced.” It actually doesn’t mean anything, but she’ll spend the next two weeks trying to figure out what I meant, the entire time letting it eat away at her soul. If it’s a verified problem, fix it. Don’t be one of these idiots that says, “Well I may have bad breath, but you’re an asshole for saying something about it.” Really? Seriously? I once told a girl that her opinion didn’t matter because she was too fat. She called me an asshole. My solution? Own it. I told her, “Here’s the difference between you and me, honey. I can wake up tomorrow and decide to be nice.”
You have one of two ways to deal with life. Sensitivity training requires that you change every other person on the planet to never hurt your feelings. Insensitivity training requires that you just change yourself to not give a fuck. It’s much easier to mentally manage and change one person (you) rather than the whole planet (which is impossible). Own it.
I say not only let your freak flag fly, but fly that fucker flagrantly. I’ll occasionally meet a girl who’s so hot that I’ll eat grapes out of her asshole. I don’t care what you think about that.
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