I am a straight, white male living in a world of heterophobic homofascism. Every day I am subjected to the Gaystapo propaganda of “We need more diversity and more tolerance,” which sounds great until you realize that this applies to everyone, except alpha males. As an alpha male, if I talk about women, I am sexist. If I talk about gay men, I am homophobic. And if I don’t pander to the illogical delusions of the masses, I’m a bad person. All of this amounts to nothing short of emotional extortion: if I don’t blindly agree with them I am a bad person.
When it comes to the topics of building muscle and getting laid, I wish someone who knew what they were talking about could have just been honest with me. Unfortunately, most of the world’s pickup artist instructors and personal trainers don’t know the truth about testosterone, and the ones who do are lying to you. You’re about to learn the truth.
You’ve heard it said that you can’t be in two places at the same time. What I want you to realize is that you can be in two times at the same place. While this may sound like nothing more than LSD-inspired wordplay, there is an important lesson to be learned from this strange perspective.
What I’m about to teach you will sound too good to be true, because it means that you can quickly and easily shed unwanted fat, and keep it off for the rest of your life. It’s not a magic pill. It’s actually a drink, and the only thing that could melt off body fat faster would be a blowtorch. It’s cheaper than eating at McDonald’s. It’s currently available to anyone who knows about it (this means you); and the best part, you’ll feel more energetic than you have in years.
The solution to the world’s biggest problems is killing babies. There are currently over 7.3 billion people on this planet and that number grows by the second. As that number grows, we continue to spread across the planet like a virus, depleting natural resources and killing the ecosystem we depend on for our very survival. While I’m not a hippie, and don’t own Birkenstocks sandals or any clothing made from hemp, I’m intelligent enough to see that the human race has embarked on a suicide mission with the exuberance of a World War II kamikaze pilot high on methamphetamine.
It wasn’t until recently that I understood what “owning it” truly means. First, before you can “own it,” you need to know what “it” is. This is a process of shameless self-discovery. Only then, once you know who you are, can you own it. This is a place where stress disintegrates and willpower seems to flow from a never-ending supply.
While I don’t care much about a girl’s bank balance, I learn everything I need to know about what type of companion she will be from one simple question: Does she have a job? I divide girls into one of three types. The first type is a girl who has been at the same job for years. The second type is a girl who always has a job but changes jobs frequently. The third is a girl who is unemployed.
If you find yourself standing on the accomplishments of your goals only to discover that the view is not as fantastic as you imaged, I welcome you to the next level.
The hedonist is motivated by a desire for pleasures. His simple ethical theory is that pleasure is the highest form of good. He is free from the chains of both religion and the deeply flawed human construct called morality. This is his guide to women.
The Body Mass Index is one of the most ridiculously misleading calculations still used in the modern medical community. It was invented in the early 19th century by a Belgian dude named Lambert Adolphe Jacques Quetelet, who was a mathematician, not a physician. The formula was used to measure the degree of obesity in the general population for the purposes of assisting the government in allocating resources. It is defined as a person’s body mass divided by the square of their height (kg/m2). The biggest problem is that it ignores the ratio of muscle to fat in the body. That’s a big deal when you realize that muscle is 18% denser than fat, and healthier.