Drawk Kwast | The Alpha Male Advantage

Part one of this book covers the science of word choice. With this understanding, you will be able to shape your word choice in a way that displays confidence and helps you with tasks of persuasion. You will also be able to decode other people’s word choices, giving you a glimpse into their thoughts. As you practice this new skill, you will make one additional discovery: the link between word choice and thought runs two ways. A person who masters word choice will also master unconscious thought. A person who has mastered his own unconscious thought learns to influence the unconscious thoughts of others, without them ever being aware of it.

When we communicate, there are the words we choose, and there is the way in which we use them. Word choice is simple linguistics, while the style with which we communicate these words is paralinguistics. Think of linguistics as everything that is in the dictionary, while paralinguistics is an opera with a symphony orchestra behind it, minus the actual words. Paralanguage modifies the meaning of language and conveys the emotion.

Alphas speak without even needing to open their mouths. In fact everyone does, but the alphas have mastered this game to their advantage. Mehrabian’s Rule states that 55% of our communication is body language, 38% is paralinguistic (how we say things), and only 7% is linguistic (what we say). Because body language counts for over half of what is communicated, fluency becomes very important when both reading and speaking. While many things are written on the subject of body language (a Google search will return over 28 million resources on the subject), I’m going to teach you the underlying concepts and equations, giving you true understanding rather than just partial memorization of the subject.

Do you believe in love at first sight? It seems a direct connection exists between the eyes and the heart that reason and logic know nothing of. Why do people say that “seeing is believing” but never say this about any of our other four senses? The eyes have something that the other senses don’t. Have you ever talked with someone who you felt could “see right through you?” We all have. Why is it that the eyes are often referred to as “the window to the soul?” Why do we feel naked when we stare into each other’s eyes? What is this powerful force? You are about to understand and control this force.

It is far more beneficial for you to give rather than receive. As a general rule, everyone, including you, prefers to receive rather than to give. When it comes to the structure of communication, giving vs. receiving is a matter of questions vs. statements. By definition, a question is asking someone for something. You are asking the other person to give you information. By definition, a statement is giving someone something. You are giving information to the other person. This part of the book is about disguising questions as statements and why you want to do so whenever possible.

Over my years of teaching communication skills, the majority of students have had one common misconception. They seem to believe that a completely different set of rules for social interaction exists when it comes to talking on the telephone, sending email, or text messaging. This part of the book will explain why that misconception exists, show you how all the same core rules still apply, and give you specific methods that can be used in each environment.

There is something ironic about writing a technical document about humor. That is because humor, or rather the idea of what is funny and what is not funny, is so variable depending on the audience, their mood, the environment, what they’ve had for breakfast, and about nine million other possible factors. Humor is one of those uniquely human, complex concepts that is difficult to explain in a logical way. Have you ever noticed that a joke ceases to be funny when you have to explain it? The purpose of this part of the book is to explain the concept of humor as it affects the social equation. Laughter is a social response, and understanding the underlying mechanisms that produce laughter will increase your social power.

Most people live their lives crippled by doubt. Their conflicting thoughts and conflicting actions are left uncontrolled and serve only to scatter their energy. These people never really accomplish anything because for every thought or action that pushes them toward something, they have a thought or action that pulls them away from it. The ability to accomplish comes from congruency. When all of your thoughts and actions focus on a single goal, you are being congruent. Total congruency is true power in action. A man who continually changes his destination will do nothing more than wander around in circles, never getting anywhere. Those who are congruent will find themselves in constant action, moving toward achieving what they have decided they will possess. For them, it is never a question of if but rather a question of when. The more congruent they are, the sooner it will happen. For these reasons, all persuasive communication requires congruency.